This is *Susan’s story which she has graciously allowed me to share.
Susan was 45 and the mum of 4 children from 3 to 16 when she first came to see me 2 years ago.
She worked 3 days a week. Her husband was a farmer and “never around”.
She had done it all with the children for the past 16 years.
She was primary carer, driver, cook, confidant, referee and disciplinarian.
She loved her family but was holding onto her reason by her fingernails.
“I wake up in the morning and I don’t want to get out of bed.
I lie there with my eyes closed, praying for nothing.
A day or even an hour where I can do nothing.
Be nothing. Nobody’s mother. Just nothing.
I’ve got nothing left in me now.”
This is exhaustion. Which many of us resonate with.
We accept this as if it’s normal. But it’s not normal.
How about we put another name on it? Adrenal Fatigue or Chronic Fatigue?
Now it sounds a little more serious.
How about Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, ME?
Definitely sounds serious now.
Back to Susan. All of the above poured out on her first consultation.
Interestingly she didn’t come because of the fatigue, she came because of her libido. She felt it was below par.
“My husband complains that I’m never in the mood. I’m afraid I’ll lose him.”
All of this was said with a flat tone.
Everything about Susan was flat. Her mood, her energy and her tone.
She didn’t sound like she cared if she lost him or not.
This was her day.
She dragged herself out of bed at 6.30am.
Made lunches and prepared evening dinner.
Got the children up.
Tried to keep them quiet as possible so as not to awaken spouse as “he works long hours”
She got as much tidying up done as possible “he hates getting up to a messy house” and did 3 different drop offs at various schools.
She was always late getting to her own job but her boss is great and allows her to be flexible.
She split her 1 hour lunch break and takes the first half hour at 12 noon when she picks up her youngest from pre-school and drops her to her mum’s.
And the second part is taken at 3 when she picks up 2 more children and drops them off.
She ate a sandwich in the car while driving, if she’d had time to make one.
She finished work at 5.30pm and raced to pick up her oldest child from homework club and her 3 younger ones from her mother.
They got home at 6pm, 2 days a week.
On the other days there were after-school activities and it was be 7.15pm when they get home.
Husband got in at 7pm, grabbed his dinner and was gone again by 7.20pm.
Susan then finished homework with everyone, cleaned up, intervened in arguments and did the laundry .
The bedtime routine started at 8.30pm and it took up to an hour for the youngest to settle down.
By 10pm, 3 of the children are asleep and Susan tried to spend some time, while ironing and preparing for the next day, with her teenager who was going through a difficult time.
Her husband usually got home around then too.
After a long day at work and farming, he spent a couple of hours in his parent’s house, doing what they need doing.
“And anyway the mania in the house in the evening is too much for him.”
Or sometimes he would stop off at the local (pub) to unwind.
Susan draggged herself back to bed around 11.30pm.
If her husband had been drinking he’d look for sex.
Sex was the very last thing on her mind then.
She felt bad for always saying no so sometimes she’d just “let him get on with it”.
She found it difficult to sleep and was exhausted in the morning. And so it started all over again.
Weekends were taken up with driving the children to various football matches and friend’s houses.
And on Sunday, she cooked for both sets of parents.
She did nothing for herself. She couldn’t remember her passions, the things that used to light her up.
Her self-care was zero.
None of this was unusual for me to hear in the office.
Most women are “too busy” and many woman are carrying the load in the parental and house holding duties too.
I prescribed a few different remedies for Susan and advised her to stop taking the contraceptive pill immediately as A) she wasn’t sexually active enough to warrant it and B) she never felt it agreed with her). She felt it made her put on weight and gave her headaches.
She got an all-over remedy that matched her current mood, energy levels and her personality.
I boosted her Adrenals, tweaked her Thyroid and I detoxed the contraceptives.
And she came back 2 months later with already a noticeable improvement.
The “flatness” was gone.
Yes she was still exhausted but she had a lift in her voice and a sparkle in her eyes.
Her headaches were gone.
She was sleeping better and she was starting to look at the job share ratio in the house.
Her libido was still dormant and that concerned her.
I asked her if she desired her husband? Loved him?
“What sort of question is that?” she asked rattled.
I continued supporting her body and her mind with homeopathic remedies.
She returned 6 months later.
She’d skipped a few months and felt she needed some help again as her sleep pattern was getting interrupted again.
Her libido was still non-existent.
Now she and her husband were having no sex as she didn’t want him near her at all.
This time, she finally trusted me enough to talk about her marriage.
She described a common situation where she felt she did everything in the home and with the family.
Her husband’s role apparently ended with conception.
She felt angry and resentful towards him. And thought counselling might help them but her husband wasn’t willing.
This time, while still boosting her energy levels, I focused more on her liver, which can hold onto anger.
And I encouraged her to start journaling. Just to write out all her annoyances, every single day. To move that negative energy from her mind and her body, out and onto a page.
And then I didn’t see Susan again for a whole year. Until just recently.
And here’s the update.
Susan and her husband have separated.
“I thought if I didn’t get out now, I’d die in that marriage and I’d never feel like myself again. I’d never be happy”.
He does the school pick-ups every day and keeps the children until Susan gets home from work.
She’s working 5 days now as she needs the money but she loves her it.
The children spend every third weekend with their dad.
She told me
“It was like the veil lifted when I started taking my remedies.
It wasn’t easy recognising all these horrible things that were going wrong in my life.
And I was angry.
I was angry at him, which was ok but worse I was angry at me for settling into that life and doing nothing for years about it.
I had no motivation to make it better for myself.
But my energy improved and the task of making big changes didn’t seem so big”
Susan’s life is still busy and this has been far from easy but she has her spark back.
She has more time to herself and has started going to dance classes.
She met someone at her class and has been having a casual fling.
It’s not serious, it’s not going anywhere but it’s fun.
“And how’s your libido?” I asked.
“Very much alive and well” she laughed.
Big changes are possible when our energy is strong and we feel vibrant in ourselves.
Homeopathy can do that.
If this resonates with you, on any level and you’d like some help, just get in touch.
You know where I am.